Where to start when planning the timings of your big day?
The first instinct is always to have the longest day possible because the longer the day the better right? You get the most wear of the most expensive dress you’ll probably ever buy, the most time with your friends and family, more time to fit in all the entertainment and activities you want and its win win right?
WRONG. What 12+ hour day have you ever had that’s been the best day ever? Remember girls are usually in a dress and heels, holding a clutch bag which usually means the majority of eating and drinking is done with one hand. The guys are in suits and are desperate to get that jacket off and top button of their shirt unbuttoned as soon as possible. Also, the majority of people in my life would be right on the bar as soon as the formalities are over which then only limits the time everyone’s smashed…
Before you start thinking I’m a complete kill joy just hear me out. In my opinion the best day ever was the one you never wanted to end, the one that flew by because you were having so much fun and the one where you let the photographer take all the photos because you forgot to get your phone out all day.
The timings play a huge part on the atmosphere of the wedding day and more importantly how much YOU will enjoy it.
Firstly, figure out the timing boundaries of your chosen venue. Is the cut off 11pm, 12am or does it allow you to go into the early hours of the next morning? Then work backwards from there to make sure we fit everything in.
Let’s work on a 12am finish as that’s generally the average in the UK.
Are you thinking of a band in the evening? Or a DJ? Or both? Usually bands play for around 2 hours and generally prefer a break between sets.
Have you had any thoughts on when you’d like the evening to start? Do you have evening guests coming or is it the same guests all day?
Working backwards again and say you are having evening guests, lets try and avoid evening guests arriving at the end of the meal or during the speeches. We want any evening guests that are coming to feel special and that you’re ready to greet them when they arrive. There’s nothing worse than walking in and feeling like the spare part!
Let’s say we’re inviting evening guests from 7pm (which realistically it’ll be 7.30pm before everyone arrives!) so you want your first dance from 8pm? This leaves 4 hours of music and dancing in the evening. Adjust if you want more/less time dancing!
I much prefer weddings with the fewer announcements as possible. Usually I’m way to excited talking to friends or having a cocktail that I tend to miss them so group up as many as you can at the same time. For example, why not do your cake cutting just before the first dance then you only have to get everyone’s attention once?
I’d say 7.45pm for the cake cutting which gives your photographer time to get a get photo along with friends and family. Top tip, position your cake near to the dance floor then you can walk straight over once you’ve cut the cake.
So far the timings look like this
- 7.00pm Evening Guests Arrival
- 7.45pm Cake Cutting
- 8.00pm First Dance & Music Starts
- 8.00pm – 12.00am Dancing & Party
- 12.00am Carriages
Next it’s speeches, are you having any? How many? It’s easier to decide if they are going to be before the meal or after at a later date but for now, let try and pin down how many speeches and how long we need to allocate? You want guests to enjoy the speeches and not be rolling their eyes 50 minutes into the first speech when you’re Dad’s still talking about when you were 5. The majority of people there know and love you so keep it short to keep everyone’s attention. Traditionally there’s usually 3 speeches and I tend to recommend around 30 minutes in total.
Now onto the meal, generally speaking we say 30 minutes per course or a total of 1.5 hours for a traditional 3 course meal. If you’re having a sharing style meal I would recommend allowing a little longer, like wise if you’re only having a couple of courses you won’t need to allow as much time.
If we’re wanting to make sure we’re done and dusted from the speeches and the meal then I’d say we need to be wrapping up around 6.30pm, which means starting the meal at 4.30pm. 1.5 hours for the meal and 30 minutes for the speeches.
The timings are now really coming together and looking like this;
- 4.30pm Start of Meal/Speeches.
- 6.30pm End of Meal, Guests head to the Bar
- 7.00pm Evening Guests Arrival
- 7.45pm Cake Cutting
- 8.00pm First Dance & Music Starts
- 8.00pm – 12.00am Dancing & Party
- 12.00am Carriages
Allowing enough time to get guests seated is also another big one. My pet peeve with wedding planners is they can allow around 10-15 minutes for 100+ guests and it’s simply not enough time.
You know what it’s like usually at this time you’ve had a couple of drinks, you’re in a great conversation with someone you’ve just met or not seen for years and the front of house staff are asking you to take your seats at dinner. You’re thinking ‘Yes yes in a minute, let me just hear the end of Uncle Derek’s trip to the Himalayas next year first…’
You’re then on reminder number 2 from the front of house staff and by then you really need a wee. By the time Uncle Derek’s wrapped up his story and you’ve made your excuses, you’re looking for the loo and wandering around the venue. Ok, we’re now done in the loo and looking for the table plan. It takes FOREVER for you to find your name and table with all the excitement and by the time you do, you’re now chatting with other people on your table. The waiters are coming around with the wine, you’re having a look at the menu and then someone bangs on the table to get your attention. You DO NOT want to underestimate how long this can take as it’ll eat into precious time in the evening.
For up to 60 guests, 15-20 minutes works well however for 60+ guests I’d be saying 30 minutes. If you’re looking at the bigger guest numbers of 150+ I’d be thinking of either adding a bit more time or having Best Men/Ushers help speed up the process. A member of the wedding party can be a bit pushier when it comes to telling people to hurry up!
While we’re talking food, we’re going to need to slot in a snack in the evening for those hungry evening guests and a proportion of the day guests that will want to snack again. As we mentioned earlier the band will likely have 2 sets so it works really well to slot this in there, around 9pm.
Now onto the drinks reception and I’ve got to admit this is my favorite part of a wedding. You’ve just come out of the ceremony, you’re thrusted a cold drink, canapés are wafted around under your nose, you’re talking to people and feeling great all dolled up in your wedding outfit. Now as a guest, I would like this part of the day to last about 3 hours but in reality, you want a MAXIMUM of a 2 hour drinks reception for a couple of reasons.
Drinks are usually free flowing at this point and if you’ve got great waiting on staff you’ll never get to the end of your glass to know how much you’ve had to drink. Not to sound boring but you need to keep an element of control on the alcohol until you’re ready to let the party go wild. This doesn’t want to be too early as it’ll result in the food being wasted, loud heckling during the speeches and a fuzzy memory of your wedding day the next day. Trust me, I have been this guest!
Also, this is the point where you’re juggling everything you brought with you as you’ve not yet found your seats. Allow enough time to get some lovely photos and mingle with your guests but not too much time guests get bored or rowdy! 1.5 – 2 hours recommended.
Now the timings are taking form and we’ve got the following;
- 2.30pm Drinks Reception
- 4.00pm Guests Seated
- 4.30pm Start of Meal/Speeches.
- 6.30pm End of Meal, Guests head to the Bar
- 7.00pm Evening Guests Arrival
- 7.45pm Cake Cutting
- 8.00pm First Dance & Music Starts
- 9.00pm Evening Food
- 8.00pm – 12.00am Dancing & Party
- 12.00am Carriages
Last but no means least is figuring out what time to get married. This can depend on whether your ceremony is at the same location as your reception, or you’ve got a bit of travel in between.
Now remember, guests aren’t going to sit down to a proper meal until around 4.30pm so if you don’t want to feed everyone twice you’re going to want everyone to have had lunch. If you’re getting married at the same venue as the reception then go for a 2pm ceremony. Enough time for guests to make their way to the venue if they’re not staying on site, also to grab something to eat before they arrive.
If you’re traveling from church or another ceremony location, then ideally try not to make the drive more than 30 minutes or you’re losing precious time on your big day. Church of England ceremonies are usually around 45 minutes, then you want to allow time for photos and mingling outside church.
Ceremony at Church (or other venue)
- 1.00pm Ceremony
- 1.45pm Photos Outside
- 2.00pm Guests Leave Church
- 2.30pm Drinks Reception
- 4.00pm Guests Seated
- 4.30pm Start of Meal/Speeches.
- 6.30pm End of Meal, Guests head to the Bar
- 7.00pm Evening Guests Arrival
- 7.45pm Cake Cutting
- 8.00pm First Dance & Music Starts
- 9.00pm Evening Food
- 8.00pm – 12.00am Dancing & Party
- 12.00am Carriages
Ceremony at Reception Venue
- 2.00pm Ceremony
- 2.30pm Drinks Reception
- 4.00pm Guests Seated
- 4.30pm Start of Meal/Speeches.
- 6.30pm End of Meal, Guests head to the Bar
- 7.00pm Evening Guests Arrival
- 7.45pm Cake Cutting
- 8.00pm First Dance & Music Starts
- 9.00pm Evening Food
- 8.00pm – 12.00am Dancing & Party
- 12.00am Carriages
The final things to consider when looking at the timings is all the pre ceremony prep. How many of you are getting ready? Remember the more of you there are, the longer it will take and the earlier you’ll need to get up unless you ask your suppliers to bring more back up!